If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
