WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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