whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
