I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
