Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
