Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
