Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
