Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
