Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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