I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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