my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
false alarm, still single
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