I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
