two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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