I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize