I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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