Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
