just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
You dont lie about slip and slides
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.