Barsexuality is the new black.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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