First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize