I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
