I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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