Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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