I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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