hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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