pop tarts are not kleenex
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize