a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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