So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
