weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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