I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
