Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
should my penis look like a turkey
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
