do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
