david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Is it because I queefed?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
