you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
