Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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