He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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