you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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