It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
