we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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