Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?"Â and "Why tacos?"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
