either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
