does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize