sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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