we have officially lost it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
