Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Two words: blizzard sex
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
