i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
