My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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