If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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