But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wish you could order shots online.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
