I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
