yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
