how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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