Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
