I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
