ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
