What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
