Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Define "chronic" masturbator.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then my night got REAL pukey
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
