You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
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happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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