Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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