So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
