you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize