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youre lurking in front of me
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
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