WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
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My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV