I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume