that's an acceptable place to lick
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
