I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
