Sponge bath it is.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
