Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
