Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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