he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
