Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize